Young and Restless

God are you there? it's me cheddar

2008-05-29T07:14:00.000-07:00

alam mo, hindi ko talaga alam kung anong gagawin ko e. . kung kailangan ko ba talga bigyang pansin yung nararamdaman ko sa kanya o hahayaan ko nalang kasi alam kong masasaktan lang kami sa huli. . at ayoko nman mangyari yun. . sobrang ayoko. . hindi ko din alam kung ipagpapatuloy ko ba ito sa ganito lang or mas higher yung level . . ewan ko naguguluhan ako sa lahat ng mga nangyayari saakin. . . ayoko ko siyang mawala. . at the same time ayokong magkaroon ng commitment with him kasi alam kong hindi yun magwwork out. . i really like him. . pero sana lang kalebel ko siya. . sana lang masabayan niya ako. . marami pa siyang iniisip sa pamilya niya e . . marami pa siyang problema. . gusto ko isipin niya muna yun. .

pero paano tong narramdaman ko. . minsan ang sakit na lang. . minsan iniisip ko, next time ko nalang ulit siya kilalanin. . pag nasa tamang panahon na. . pero pano kung next time wala na siya? pano kung next time iba na siya? paano kung next time hindi na niya ako kilala. . isa lang ba siyang tao na dumaan lang. . o isa ba siyang tao na dapat kong mahalin? ng permanent or ng temporary? hindi ko alam kung anong purpose niya. . alm kong pinagdasal ko siya pero hindi ko alam kung anong pwede niyang gawin sa buhay ko. . sasaktan rin ba niya ako. . tuturuan ba rin niya ako ng leksyon? may ipapaintindi ba siya? o mamahalin niya ako ng buo? kung ano ako at kung sino ako?

magkikita parin ba kami pagdating ng panahon na buo na ako? ganun padin ba ang pakikitungo saakin? ganun padin ba siya? o isa lang siyang tulay para makilala ko ang isa pang lalaking magmamahal saakin?

there are so many questions. . there are so many words that are left unsaid. . i need an answer. . i need God.

WTH. my DREAM GUY ON EARTH!

2008-04-29T07:16:00.000-07:00

okidoks. . so many of us, girls. . would like to have their own PRINCE! isn't it awesome daydreaming your guy? haha. . so i here's the list!

HE HAS TO BE:

-respectful. * as in. *
-alam mo yung tipong, he's great doing this thing. . pero hindi niya to pinagmamayabang! woot!
- good listener. . pero hindi naman ung, super quiet na boring na. . parang he's there for you to always listen and talk a bit and listen again. haha. isn't it cute?
- nakakakilig in a very simple way! haha
- gwapo pero hindi niya alam na gwapo siya. gets?
- clean. . cares about hygiene and the clothes he wear and has a good fashion sense also.
- fresh and kahit yung pawis mabango. hahaha.
- has to be taller than me and MAN BUILT!
- he knows everything i like, my favorites. etc.
- may plano sa buhay hindi yung basta basta lang. .
- has to be witty. . and smart. not feeling smart!
- knows how to speak english fluently. .
- with poise. tipong ma dating pero simple lang siya. . but the appeal. . should be like whoa!!
- knows his responsibilities in life. .
- listens to the music he listen to because he like it, not because he want to follow a trend or something. .
- i am very attracted to guys who like to surf the beach and a great swimmer. hahaha. because most of the swimmers have great bodies. hahaha.
- who likes to go to the gym not to work out but eat sneakers ice cream bars in front of the treadmill. hahaha.

well, parang may isang guy na meron ang lahat ng to and he is, robert silva. my online friend. . hehehe

actually i met him in myspace last year. . and i don't know if he's a poser by using other pics. . but this is one of the pictures he sent to me. . i don't care if he's not the real guy you see. . but the guy that i talked to alot in YM is the one i'm referring to. :) he's a very good friend of mine.

Damn summer. . i have to say

2008-04-16T06:44:00.000-07:00

so it's kinda weird for me, to just stare to some people enjoying their summer by going to some beaches and pools. . whatever it is. . while me, is just spending my time to some stupid things like this. . typing my random rants. .

so one day. . i decided to be alone somewhere south. . and just stare to these funny people walking, talking, chatting, running, driving. oh how i wish i could drive my heart out, and go somewhere peaceful. . i just want to space out things. .

so what's really bugging me out recently? i just don't know how to spend my summer wisely. . i don't what to waste time on thinking some random thoughts about my future without doing something extra ordinary. . within a day or within an hour. . i can't really think i deas. . feels like it doesnt work. . or some kind of malfunction.. my brain is officially balnked by day dreaming. . i would still want to go to DLSU-D. . but my future there. . to become a PT stufdent? i can't evee imagine even a bit. . to be honest. . so as you noticed there are lots of incorrect typos. . because i am not facing my monitor. . i am laying on my bed while typing. . so i don't know of there's some typos. . but i don't care. . i just want to spill some of thoughts which is stabbing me back early in the morning. . parang kailangan na kailangan ko siyang sabihin sa isang tao. . but again, dito nalang ulit sa BLOG ko..

okay so i can't type anymore. . there so much things going on. . hindi na ako makagisip. . . .

survey :D

2008-04-07T08:03:00.000-07:00

wala akong magawa. .

My name starts with the letter J.
I was born in 1988.
My favorite flavor of ice cream is mint chip.
I've done many things that I regret.
I do not have many close friends.
I have one person who I can trust with my life.
I watch Friends. I often quote movies, TV shows, and books.
I love the simple things in life.
I have a boyfriend/girlfriend.
I am a member of many online communities.
I resent Myspace.
Myspace is my addiction.
I play The Sims.
I've changed a question on a survey before.
Now I wonder if any questions on this survey were changed.
Vanity is my favorite sin.
I've seen the movie Irreversible.
I've seen the movie Irreversible and was disturbed by it.
Actually, Irreversible is one of my favorite movies.
I like photography.
I take pictures of things other than myself.
I am friends with someone I hate.
They know I hate them.
I know all of the words to the Fresh Prince theme song.
...Even though I loathe that show.
I know the whole audience participation script for The Rocky Horror Picture Show.
I still watch Disney movies.
Spongebob Squarepants is my favorite TV shows.
I have worn pajamas to school before.
Right now, I am wearing a pink shirt.
All of my clothes are black.
I have an iPod. *nasa mom ko na*
One of my favorite bands is My Chemical Romance.
I watch MTV.
Eminem deserves more respect.
I do not like to read.
I am a legend in my own mind.
John Munch is amazing.
I resent John Munch, to be quite honest.
Who the fuck is John Munch?
I type properly.
Napoleon Dynamite is the best movie.
I am emo and proud of it.
Fishnet stockings own.
I hate when people use the word "gay" to mean "pathetic".
I often do that.
I've read Romeo and Juliet.
...And hated it.
I rock at DDR.
I am cynical.
I am glad that this survey is over.

----------------------------------------------

1. My name is Sarah.
2. I have called someone a conformist before.
3. Movies with subtitles do not bother me.
4. I would label myself emo.
5. I hate it when people ask how I am as smalltalk, because they really don't give a shit.
6. I have interesting views on the world.
7. I cannot wait to grow up.
8. I am over eighteen years old.
9. I watch South Park.
10. I resent Family Guy.
11. I hate wearing sneakers.
12. I've seen The Passion of The Christ.
13. Horror is my favorite genre of movie.
14. I often use the word "genre".
15. I am wearing a white shirt currently.
16. I know someone named Nick.
17. I have a friend that is in a band.
18. ...Even though their band sucks.
19. I spend most of my life on the computer.
20. I pity anyone who has bolded the above answer.
21. I have made my own survey before.
22. My iPod is black.
23. My iPod is pink.
24. I do not have an iPod.
25. I've been called a goth before.
26. Most people call me a prep.
27. I hate labels, but I constantly label those around me.
28. I am currently on an instant messaging program.
29. I know how to speak French.
30. I am not a virgin.
31. Scary Movie is fucking hilarious.
32. I am one of the few people who actually enjoyed the movie Gigli.
33. Science fiction. Double feature.
34. Be careful. You could spend all your money in there.
35. I know where the above quote came from.
36. Actually, I know where the above two quotes came from.
37. I am a very random person.
38. Most people would consider me overweight.
39. I get uncomfortable when people start flirting with me.
40. I've caught someone lying to me within the past week.
41. I've caught a friend lying to me recently.
42. I resent being lied to.
43. I've lied to a close friend before.
44. I've cheated on someone before.
45. I've been cheated on.
46. I fucking hate people who cheat on people.
47. My last name starts with S.
48. I hardly ever talk to my parents.
49. Actually, I'm pretty close with my family.
50. I've been left speechless before

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( ) i use my digital camera every day
( ) i admit that i am a camera whore, but that doesn't mean i love the way i look
( ) i recently ate an apple
( ) i have horrible skin right now
( ) i have many self help books
( ) reading, wtf?
( ) i'm taking antidepressants
( ) i have heard of the band type o negative
( ) i only have one xanga
( ) my mother is a bitch
( ) i rarely go to the movies
( ) jockers are a big pain the ass
( ) i have been a really bad girlfriend in the past
( ) if i could, i would eat spaghetti daily
( ) i'm health conscious
( ) i'm a great speller
( ) most of my friends suck
( ) skinniness annoys me to hell, what is the big deal?
( ) i'm fat and i like it--deal with it
( ) i've been to las vegas
( ) i loved it
( ) i thought it was tacky
( ) my favorite animal is a lion
( ) my mobile phone is so old
( ) i have strict parents
( ) my hair is in bad condition
( ) i have mugs/cups in my bedroom
( ) my bin needs emptying
( ) i know most of the people in my friends list on myspace
( ) i am big-time self-conscious
( ) i'm too shy to get a job
( ) i'm a vegetarian and i rarely eat fruit or vegetables
( ) i think fish are scary
( ) die, conformity!
( ) marilyn manson is so overrated
( ) i appreciate good art when i see it
( ) i have a mouth ulcer
( ) i hate anime
( ) my mother does everything for me
( ) i refuse to do my own laundry
( ) i don't iron my clothes
( ) i hate shopping
( ) i'm a sellout
( ) i haven't seen a survey xanga like darkeststar_surveys before
( ) they make great sureys
( ) i listen to goth metal
( ) my chemical romance are shit
( ) i am currently attempting to write my own novel
( ) i have read wuthering heights
( ) the sun is shining
( ) i dig fudge
( ) i want to go to england
( ) wtf
( ) i despise most internet slang with every fiber of my being
( ) baked beans are yum
( ) i desperately want a baby with my boyfriend
( ) i loved the movie thirteen
( ) what was all the fuss about?
( ) emo haircuts...hahaha
( ) i adore long, deep, slow, sensual kissing
( ) kelly clarkson can't sing live
( ) i knew somebody who was murdered
( ) i eat a lot of kit kats
( ) my dog got hit by a car
( ) i once had a hamster
( ) i love all things fantasy
( ) i wish sometimes i was a faerie
( ) all these repetitive surveys drive me nuts
( ) i'm a dedicatd christian
( ) i respect religion but i don't follow anything
( ) i'm pro-life
( ) i'm pro-choice
( ) my parents only let me online at certain times
( ) i don't have a tv in my room
( ) i'm poor
( ) my family own more than two cars
( ) i've been beaten up before
( ) why are teenage girls so bitchy?
( ) when i get nervous i stammer
( ) napoleon dynamite is one of the funniest movies ever
( ) i personally don't believe jesus ever existed
( ) i have been to italy
( ) i often take naps in the late afternoon
( ) i love musicals
( ) i love sex
( ) hilary duff has gotten too skinny
( ) i live on a main road
( ) i like to take walks in meadows in the summer
( ) i'm scared of horses
( ) i'm squeamish
( ) i used to own a sega mega drive
( ) i have sent someone hate email before
( ) i admit i'm a slob
( ) i know someone with bad ear wax
( ) i can speak welsh
( ) WHy pPl hAvE tO tYpE lIkE tHiS iS bEyOnD mE
( ) i am over the age of eighteen
( ) chat shows are so cheesy
( ) i watch british tv shows
( ) i have never heard of the famous british "fish and chips" delicacy
( ) my brother wanted to be a cowboy when he was little
( ) girl power!
( ) i always have to get my own way, or i throw a fit
( ) i have made fun of someone with ginger/red hair before
( ) harry potter = gorgeous!
( ) i am latino
( ) i am japanese, or partly
( ) i have a deep voice
( ) i find it hard to tell the truth sometimes
( ) i have seen a ghost
( ) i think my house is haunted, it makes lots of odd noises
( ) i have a lot of love handles
( ) i am taller than five foot eight
( ) i hate it when people say "stfu," lazy much?
( ) strawberry milk is better than chocolate milk
( ) my birthday is in october
( ) i prefer the term autumn to fall
( ) msn is so much better than aim
( ) i have my own cat, who is my baby
( ) i love castles!
( ) the beatles SUCKED
( ) abba, however...they were so cool
( ) ben and jerry's ice cream--i could eat it daily
( ) i'm often more concerned over the welfare of animals, not humans
( ) the biggest bitch at school thinks i'm cool
( ) i love kevin smith movies
( ) i'm in a choir
( ) i often think i'm a useless waste of space
( ) i had a boyfriend who told me i was ugly
( ) i want to be an actress
( ) i DON'T support gay marriage, but i'm not homophobic
( ) i hate being bored
( ) i say "ugh" a lot
( ) i drink coke daily
( ) i have a really crude sense of humor
( ) i sometimes act like a baby around my boyfriend so he thinks i'm cute
( ) i love sheep, baaaa
( ) i have an electronic thesaurus
( ) RAWR
( ) i'm too lazy to tidy my room
( ) the curtains are still closed
( ) i spit
( ) i swallow
( ) i am diabetic
( ) i dislike the simpsons
( ) i'm a fool and everyone knows it
( ) i have often thought about writing a book about dreams i've had
( ) i love going to the zoo
( ) my handwriting gets complimented a lot
( ) i have heard of oxfordshire in england
( ) i knew that it was where tolkien wrote the lord of the rings and is buried
( ) i also knew that lewis carroll wrote alice of wonderland there
( ) and...c.s.s. lewis wrote narnia
( ) i drink tea with two sugars
( ) i have a personalized calendar
( ) this bolding survey is so long
( ) but it's great
( ) i wear jean shorts
( ) whenever i go to the beach i always seem to get sand everywhere
( ) i'm a water baby
( ) i wish i had super long hair, but it just won't grow!
( ) i wish my hair wasn't so straight
( ) i have an underactive thyroid
( ) i don't even know what a thyroid is
( ) i need a job
( ) i'm not going to go to college
( ) i don't know what a synopsis is
( ) the elderly scare me
( ) i will happily go out of my way to help someone
( ) i don't wear deodorant every day
( ) i like most things mythical
( ) i rarely get comments on myspace
( ) i'm at the top of my english class
( ) aa' menle nauva calen ar' ta hwesta e' ela'quenle
( ) i don't know what language that is
( ) i often trip over my own feet
( ) *wrinkles nose*
( ) i complain a lot and people are sick of it
( ) i love doritos
( ) i was born before 1990
( ) i used to watch "are you afraid of the dark"
( ) which scares me even now
( ) it's my damn life, i'll do what i want
( ) i'm a rebel
( ) i've had sex with more than two people
( ) i like to get drunk
( ) why don't people ever listen to me?
( ) i hate being ignored
( ) my brother nearly died once
( ) i walk around my home barefoot a lot
( ) i read poetry
( ) i write poetry
( ) i know how to make icons
( ) anna faris is weird
( ) life is killing me
( ) i have an empty coke bottle in my bedroom
( ) i have a swing seat in the garden
( ) the biggest mistake anybody can make is bleaching their hair YELLOW
( ) i was sick a few days ago
( ) i loved this survey

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1. I hate it when people say 'times' and they actually mean 'multiply.'
2. I like corn on the cob.
3. I couldn't play DDR to save my life.
4. Wendy's is my favorite fast-food restaurant.
5. My foot is asleep right now.
6. I have to pee.
7. I'm freezing cold.
8. I don't have my mood set on MySpace.
9. People that are a year or two younger than me annoy me.
10. I have used the phrase 'touche' before.
11. The chair I'm sitting in is comfortable.
12. I used to kill my Sims in terrible ways.
13. I can't whistle.
14. My math teacher this past year was such a bitch.
15. Right now, I'm multi-tasking on the computer.
16. I wear headbands.
17. I love High School Musical.
18. I can never tan for long on the beach, because I get impatient.
19. My computer brand is Dell.
20. I wish I had a flatter stomach.
21. I exercise regularly.
22. My back hurts when I stand for too long.
23. Roller coasters? Heck yes!
24. I need a job.
25. I don't like Kraft Macaroni and Cheese.
26. I'm worried/stressed about something right now.
27. I take French.
28. I've never been kissed.
29. I know who Joe Nichols is.
30. I remember 'Face' from Nick Junior.
31. My iPod has a stopwatch on it.
32. I like spending money on other people.
33. I love the Axe 'BomChickaWahWah' commercials.
34. I've seen Borat.
35. I think I was an ugly baby.
36. I wish I had an iPhone.
37. I love Hollister and American Eagle.
38. But I think that Abercrombie and Fitch is way overpriced.
39. Honestly, I don't care about the lives of the stupid girls on Laguna Beach and The Hills.
40. I love scary movies, but I used to hate them.
41. I have a younger sibling who drives me batshit.
42. The mall near my house is definitely lame, so I have to drive a long way to get to a good one.
43. I would never get a tattoo.
44. Nordstrom (the department store) makes me feel inferior.
45. I'm still afraid of the dark.
46. I don't like hotels.
47. Cinnamon buns are the greatest.
48. Sometimes I think of my pets as human beings.
49. My bed isn't all that comfortable.
50. Blood and guts in movies make me nauseous.

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WORDS! :D

2008-04-05T00:47:00.000-07:00

Barsexual

A college-age girl who kisses other girls in bars and clubs, usually for attention and the approval of men.

A BISEXUAL girl kisses girls at home when no ones looking.

A BARSEXUAL girl only kisses them in places that charge a cover.

Twork

when a girl is shakin her ass with enought rhythm and control to get niggas honry

Awesomeness

1. An unmeasurable amount of awesomenimity something can produce.
2. Something that qualifies as awesome.
3. With sarcastic use, means that something is not awesome at all. A lower and calmer tone of voice is used, and is generally followed by derogatory physical action such as a shrug or eye rolling.

1 and 2.
Me: "I found 50 bucks on the street! Let's go get wasted!!"
You: "Awesomeness!!"

3.
You: "I'm so happy to be going with my family on vacation, where I can't party..."
Me: "Awesomeness..." ; *rolleyes*

MORE TO COME! HAHAH!

2008-03-27T22:15:00.000-07:00

Go to urban dictionary,
and type in your answer to each question in the search box. Only use the first answer.

1) Your name?

Psyche

-originaly the greek goddess of the soul, which the word psychology is derived from.

he myths of the Greek goddess Psyche exemplify a woman's search for authentic personal growth, a reminder that the integration of our experiences, however sad or frightening they may be, matures and transforms us, like the symbol of the butterfly emerging into the light from its dark cocoon.

Darlene

1. A woman who is both beautiful and athletic.
2. A woman who is extremely comical and often times silly. She usually says things like "YOU CRAZY" or "HELLO."
3. A good friend to listen, to care, and to goose you as well.
4. A gooch.

1. (n.) Darlene, come do the dishes.
2. (adj.) You are so Darlene today!

2) Nickname?

Dardz

- slang for dardy

meaning hot and/or cool in australia, more commonly australia aboriginal culture

that chick is dardz faw shaw

Cheddar

- Cheddar is slang for Cheese, which was already slang for money. I think Jay-Z is the one who first one to extend the slang "cheese" and make it the slang "cheddar," but I can't say for certain 'cuz I'm pretty uber-white.

from Jay-Z "Ain't No Love (Heart of the City)":

Whassup y'all niggaz fed up cause I got a little cheddar
and my records movin' out the sto'?

3) Relationship status?
Fling-er

-"fling"
NOT going out but have the same privilages as someone going out.
short term.
ex. holding hands, kissing,hugging ect.

dude were flinging ...go away

4) You describe your best friend as?
Serious

-

Intense; hardcore.

"Things are gettin' serious up in here."

"I made some serious cash last night."

5) What should you be doing?
Sleeping

-a mystical kind of magic which sends u to an alternate plane of existence in which the magical gremlins give u pro plus

i was sleeping when i heard a large crash

6) Favorite Food?

Pizza

-

The perfect meal--an open-faced pie using tomato sauce, cheese, and any manner of meat toppings. In addition to the standard, medium-thick-crust pizza, there are two major American varieties: New York style, also called thin crust; and Chicago style, also called 'deep-dish' or (more accurately) 'stuffed' pizza.

Pizza is the perfect meal, man. A slice for lunch, a whole pie for dinner, and cold pizza for breakfast--hallalujah!

8) Finish the line: "the best thing[s] in life is/are __?"

Happiness
-

is:
a seven second orgasm.
a cigarette.
winning the lottery.
seeing you former bullies become failures at life.
eating at White Castle.
eating period.
Writing you're name in the snow while taking a leak.
According to The Beatles, A warm gun.

Happiness is just brief moments of bliss.

Check that out! i actually wrote the "i" in 'brian'.

9) One word to describe yourself?
outgoing
-

Outgoing is the a word meaning simply that one goes out of their way to meet and make new friends.Outgoing can be broken down into two words: Out and going. Outgoing involves people going out of their way to make friends and to be sociable! One who is outgoing tends to make friends easily due to the high level of "risks" that they are willing to take to meet people, make friends, and have fun. The opposite of Outgoing would be timidity and shyness! Being outgoing is doing anything that causes people to gravitate to you! Outgoing people are usually the life of most parties. Outgoing people tend to be deemed cool and chill!

Jax was the center of attention by all the girls because he was so outgoing! He was never shy and "scared" to talk to new people yet was very sociable! He never backed out of a dare because he was outgoing and willing to try new stuff!

10) Your favorite color:
Pink:

1. Color seen as the most stereotypical "feminine" color.

a color worn by females, homosexuals, and dumbasses who think its a gangsta/pimp/cool/hip/pha t/hot/thugish color.
the color pink was NOT meant to be worn by men.
if you are a male and dont wear pink, your cool in my book
if you have worn pink before and regret it, your forgivin
if your male and wear pink and dont regret it, youll probley be mobbed walking down a street.

man1: "check it man im wearing pink, how manly am i?"
man2: "not very..more like how feminine are you. loser"

the bestest color of all life!- pink is not just a color- its an attitude!

painful experiences

2008-03-21T19:51:00.000-07:00

Isang hapon ay nagkwekwentuhan ang magbarkada sa may isawan sa kanto habang nag-memerienda.

Ederlyn: Eto, I have a question para sa inyo ga. Ano ang pinakamasakit na experience ang naranasan na ninyu?

Napaisip ang iba.

Dodong: Siguro sa akin ay yung pagpili sa isang babae pero parehong mahal mo ang dalawa. Para talagang nahahati ang puso ko. (sabay kagat sa isaw)

Ederlyn: Ay yung sa akin yung binuhos mo ang pagmamahal mo sa isang lalaki pero kulang pa rin at iniwan ka. (sabay lagok sa softdrink)

Ethan: Wala pa ko masyadong experience pagdating sa sa pagmamahal eh. Siguro masakit na sa’ken yung binati mo ng good morning pero di ka pinansin. Hehehe. (sabay kagat sa bananacue)

Inday: I guess mine would be not showing my affection to someone and by the time that I realize that he’s the one I love, he’s slowly pulling away. (sabay subo sa baon nyang blanched green and white asparagus with lemon thyme and Parmesan vinaigrette)

Pulubi: Sa akin naman yung bihis na bihis ka na pero di ka pala kasama sa lakad. Sakit nun. Hirap kaya ako maghanap ng maisusuot tapos di rin pala ako kasama. Tsk. (hihingi pa sa kinakain ni Inday)

Napatingin na lang sila Inday sa pulubing nakiki-merienda.

SALAMAT. :)

2008-02-22T20:26:00.001-08:00

paks, maraming salamat. :)

" hehe. tama na muna un. nq paks, wg m na muna icpn yan. . hanggat kya pa, pksya lng lge. . ok paks? "

please don't fade away

2008-01-24T05:31:00.000-08:00

okay. i've been listening to Paramore's songs for over a million times. yes, i've known them for like couple of years ago.. but i didnt like them that much. cause i'd inclined myself to rnb na kasi.. so that's the reason why. . well, i just need someone na pwedeng makausap ng feelings ko ngayon, at wala naman. . again, dito nanaman ako sa blog ko. i am careless. . i am stupid. puta. ang daming kong sasabihin puta talaga naiiyak na ako. puta.. KEN TANGINA MO MAHAL NA MAHAL KITA! TANGINA MO TALAGA ! MAHAL NA MAHAL KITA!

2008-01-10T20:10:00.000-08:00

I want so many things in my life. i want lots of things to do that i love. *sigh* when will it gonna happen?

and sadly to say, the movie JUNO will not gonna show here in the phils, in case you're interested to know what the movie JUNO is, watch the trailer below. .

looks, interesting eh? darn it, i'll wait nalang sa video city.
i have so many things in my mind that i want to spill in this fucking blog,
the problem is, i don't know how to express it. well, i am not good in expressing myself. . *maybe sometime*

things you don't really have to know about me:

1. i hate waking up early.
2. i hate studying. . i hate filipino
3. i hate clowns
4. i hate expressing myself through writing stuffs.
5. i love non-fictional books. . it's easy to read and understand. i could even reflect to it
6. i hate my filipino teacher. . as well as the subject
7. i love singing but i always suck in it.. but i never mind. . i just sing. .
8. i want sex but i want to stay virgin, which is impossible. haha.
7. i love fries. . and ice cream. .
8. i hate sleeping early. .
9. but i do love to sleep.. it makes me thinner. . :D
10. i love simplicity, but i don't want to be one that's simple. .
11. i love reading. .
12. i love the Eiffel tower. .

isn't it lovely? it's so romantic. .
13. i love traveling, road trips. .
14. i want to learn weird stuffs. . i want to be unique in any way . .
15. i want to be loved. . to be LOVED more.

well i am hungry, i want some chicken mcnuggets. . it's okay i will have them later. . my ken will buy me some and we'll it together here at my house. .

A Guy wrote this.

2008-01-09T05:10:00.000-08:00

[(Girls are always stuck and wondering about guys.)]
[( So I did the favor and tracked this down.)]
[ Note : A Guy wrote this. ]

-->Guys hate sluts even though they have sex with them!
(Oh yeah..You're not "popular" if you've slept with more than 6 guys...
You're a HOE!)

-->"Hey, are you busy?" or "Are you doing something?" - Two phrases guys
open with to stop from stammering on the phone.

-->Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep,
they always think about the girl they truly care about.

-->Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they're gonna say.
so there aren't awkward pauses, but once he's on the phone,
he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.

-->Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.

-->Guys will do anything just to get you to notice him.

-->Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex- love interest.
Unless they're going for the
(Let her complain to you and then have her realize how wonderful and nice you are)
method.

-->A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to.

-->Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they're still loved.

-->Don't talk about your guy friends to your boyfriend.

-->Guys get jealous easily.

-->Guys are more emotional than they'd like people to think.

-->Giving a guy a hanging messages like "You know what!??!...uhh
nevermind..." would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking.
And he'll assume he did something wrong and he'll obsess about it trying to figure it out.

-->Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.

-->Guys hate asking parents for money to buy girls' presents. So they come up with ideas
like saving their lunch money for a week. But it never works because guys
are always hungry so they end up asking the parents for money anyways.

-->Girls are guys' weaknesses.

-->Guys are very open about themselves.

-->It's good to test a guy first before you trust him. But don't let him wait too long.

-->Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his problems with you may end up being admired by your boyfriend.

-->If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice.

-->A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.

-->Guys love you more than you love them if they are serious in your relationships.

-->Guys will brag about anything.

-->Guys use words like hot or cute to describe girls. We rarely use beautiful.If a guy uses that, he likes you a whole hell of a lot.

-->No matter how much guys talk about asses and boobs, personality is key.

-->Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls read and take as their basis of experience.

-->Guys worry about the thin line between being compassionate and being whipped.

-->Guys think WAY too much. One small thing a girl does, even if she doesn't notice it can make the guy think about it for hours, trying to figure out what it meant.

-->Guys seek for advice from girls not other guys. Because most guys think alike, so if one guy's confused, then we're all confused.

-->Any guy could write out a rulebook or advice book for flirting, but no guy can write out a book about relationships.

-->Try to be as straightforward as possible.

-->If the guy does something stupid in front of the girl, he will think about it for the next couple days or until the next time he spends time with the girl.

-->If a guy looks unusually calm and laid back, he's probably faking it and is spazzing inside.

-->When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl, he really is. Guys rarely say that.

-->When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me."

-->Guys don't really have final decisions.

-->If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn't happen that often, so when it does, you know something's up.

-->If your best guy friend seems to avoid you or is never around when you're with your boyfriend, he's probably jealous and likes you.

--When a guy tells you that you are beautiful, don't say you aren't. It makes them want to stop telling you because they don't want you to disagree with them.

--When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he's definitely thinking something.

--Guys like femininity not feebleness.

--Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do.

--A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.

--Don't be a snob. Guys can be intimidated and give up easily.

--Everything in moderation. Put on makeup, wear perfume. Just not too much.

--Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about guys.

--Guys hate rejection, but they hate being led on even more.

--If you are going to reject a guy, just do it. Don't say they are like a brother or just good friends, it just hurts even more. Tell them that you aren't interested in a relationship and they will respect you.

--Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are MAD confusing but somehow are drawn even more to them.

--A guy would give his left nut to be able to read a girl's mind for a day.

--No guy can handle all his problems on his own. He's just too stubborn to admit it.

--Not all guys are assholes. Just because ONE is a jackass doesnt mean he represents ALL of us.

--We don't like girls who are too skinny.

--We love it when girls talk about there boobs.

--Always make sure you know what kind of stuff your getting into before making out with a guy ...like wheather it's a one time deal or not ....

--Believe it or not shy guys are the most easiest to talk to..it may not seem right but trust me they will start opening up like books after you just ask them questions about their lives and unoticable tell them about yours...

--When a guy hits your butt it means that he wants you sexually

--Even if they refuse it all guys are ticklish on the ribs..

--Guys love neck rubs and if he lets you keep doing it ..it means that he really likes you or his neck really hurts...

--Guys will test the waters to see how far they can get with you. Even if he doesn't intend to it will happen. Know how far it is you want to let him go and he will respect that...after you let him know a couple times.

--When a guy sacrifices his sleep and health just to be with you, he really likes you and wants to be with you as much as possible.

FUNNY. :)

2008-01-02T09:31:00.000-08:00

nasabihan na ba kayo ng ganito,

kasi ganito yan, i saw her n my classmate's fone which is her cousin, nung nakita ko siya,
my first thought was like, " Damn! She's beautiful!" and on the second thought, i was like,
" damn! she's really pretty!" and so was the third.. :)

HAHA, lumalaki na ulo ko. :)

Happy New Year, goodbye 2007

2007-12-31T09:35:00.000-08:00

since hindi ko nashare dito yung buhay ko nang dumaan ang taon 2007, lalagay ko nlang dito ang brief summary ng buhay ko sa taong 2007. pucha anu nanaman ba ito..

napakagandang taon ito para saakin, kasi ganito yun, nagsimula ako sa pag explore ng bora romblon at mindoro, marami akong nakilalang bagong kaibigan, at masaya ako dun .. dahil sa simula palng ng taong 2007 hinarap na kaagad ako ng mga bagong tao sa buhay ko. dito ko din naranasan na magtravel ng hindi yung pamilya ko ang kasama ko, dahil kung tutuusin wala na akong tinutunring na pamilya ngayon simula nung nag abroad ang aking mama, araw2 tinatanong ko sa sarili ko na bakit sa dinami daming pamilya na kailngan mgahirap bakit kabilang kami dun, bakit kailangan pang umalis si mama d2 para lang mapagaral ako sa college? bakit yung mga ibang pamilyang gumagawa ng mali sila pa ang mas binigyan ng LUCKY MOMENTS, napakaswerte nila dahil kumpleto pa ang pamilya nila, hindi mo alam kung anu ang iyong mararamdaman kung wala ang iyong ina na nagpalaki sayo twing pasko, birthday, kahit new year, nakakainggit lang.. bkit kailangang malayo siya..

pero sa lahat ng ito, nakapagsurvive ako. and i am very proud of myself. i am being domesticated na, i can live without any help of my father except for the financial cause i ain't working yet, but if that opportunity comes, at least alam ko na, hindi na saakin mahirap mag adjust sa mga gawaing bahay dahil dito palang i am being domesticated na, i know how to do the laundry, to cook, to clean my own mess *which is a very big surprise*, and to handle big amount of money.

everything's last. yan ang shout out ko sa highschool life ko ngayong taong 2007. lahat ng mga nangyari at mangyayari sa last year ko sa DCCS ay LAST NA. hindi na mauulit ulit yung mga away, bonding, pangongopya, kantahan, sayawan,super pagkavain, mga sulat, iyakan, tawanan, mga bagsak na quizzes, perfect na long test at pasang awang periodical tests, lahat LAST NA. kasi after nito, new environment nanaman.. new faces.. adjustments, minsan nkakapagod narin..
hindi ko nga feel magaral na e, hindi ko rin feel mag enroll sa lyceum. ewan ko ba parang there's this odd feeling e, hindi ko lang talaga maexplain.

i found my true love. oo na, sinasabi ko kasi ito kasi ito yung present ko. si ken, dumating siya unexpectedly. i'd loved him, and i will love him. kung baga i am contented. i want him to be with me for the rest of my life. he's just everything, he's the type of person na kung kausapin ko pag may problema ako feeling ko nakikipagusap ako sa bestfriend ko, tropa kung baga, kung may ka bonding, siya rin ang kabonding ko, siya yung kainuman ko, kapop ko sa yosi, ka chill ko sa starbucks and coffeebean, shopping mate ko. boyfriend ko at asawa ko. he is very supportive. takbuhan ko siya tlaga kapag may problem ako. siya yung nagpakilala saakin sa mundo, sa buhay dito sa Manila, siya ang nagpa understand saakin kung bakit ganito at bakit ganun, tipong hindi ko maririnig o makukuha sa mga kalevel ko.

napagusapan nga pala natin yung mga bagong tao, tama marami akong nameet at mga nakuhang advices from them, kala ko isa ako sa mga taong may malaking problema, wala papala yun, walang wala sa mga problema nila, kung baga life-changing yung type ng problem nila, at kung iisipin ang mga problem na mga naeencounter ko sa mga ka level ko eh yung niloko sila ng gf/bf nila, yung mga common, ako na ang nagsasabi sainyo wala pa yan sa problema ko at walang wala rin yan sa problema ng mga taong nakilala ko. Oo, aaminin ko bata pa ako para malaman na malaki ang problema at marami pang taong may mas hihigit pa. pero sa level kong to, napakalaki na ng diperensya ng mga taong nakilala ko sa mga ka level ko lang, to tell you, mahitap mabuhay sa mundo kung hindi ka marunong dumiskarte at lumaban, nagiging korni na ako, pero yun talaga ang totoo, kung wala kang lakas ng loob ipaglaban ang sarili mo sa mga taong sumisira sa buhay mo, habang buhay ng magiging miserable yan. matutong lumaban, umayaw, tumanggap ng pagkatalo, bumangon, mag forgive. wag na wag mong kakalimutan kumapit kay God kasi he is the center of your life, keep your faith strong. Miracles do happen if you believe that miracles exist.

ngayon, patapos na ang lahat ng mga first time ko, halos lahat kasi ng first time ko nangyari ngayong taon na to. at hindi ko na siguro kailngan pang i-elaborate ang lahat. . inaantok na ako, nakatira nanaman ako ng emperador ngayong bagong taon, sorry for the typos okay? mejo may tama narin kasi ako.

so, 2008, i welcome you. :)

2008 is fast approaching

2007-12-23T08:10:00.000-08:00

wow, been in a very long HIATUS again. .

haha. nakakalimutan ko kasi tong blog na to e,
i have to keep this blog UPDATED parin. .
kahit napagiwanan ko siya ng 1 taon. hahaha

well, 2008 is fast approaching. . :D

OMG

2007-10-27T06:25:00.000-07:00

A VERY LONG HIATUS
grabe, almost 1 year!
wala lang. . today, i am so much loved and adored by someone.
his name is NICHOLAS JAMES. been together for 2 months. .
mag 3 months na on november 5. and won't last forever.

i have this strong affection for him.
i really don't know why. . i just love him.

nakedstreets. [ HIATUS ]

2006-09-17T00:24:00.000-07:00

Music: A Box Full of Sharp Objects by The Used

PAST. hehe.. favorite ko tlga ung topic dito na past. kc po may nlaman nnman ako.. haayy..btw, if ever na mbbsa mo to, [which is sobrang impossible..]haha.. this letter is for you.. [nickname: dead rose]
dearest dead rose,
hello.. galit ka pa ba saakin? it's been 3 years since that horrible incident happened..you know, all i ask is forgiveness.. i know that you're still mad at me.. i'm sorry for all i've done.. i know, it's all my fault.. ndi naman po kta tinaboy nuon.. cguro un ung naramdman mo those times..ndi nga natin alm kung anung reason why we broke up..its still a question mark to both of us..all i know is, ang dali nating ginive up ung relationship natin noon..wala sa ating dalawa ang nag fight sa relationship natin,..we both let it fade..
all i ask is forgiveness dead rose.. forgiveness.

2006-08-10T20:54:00.000-07:00

what a week! woohiee yes. it turned out to be the most stupid week ever happened in my life~! i broke up with amallie! [duh? whatever you`re thinking is, u`re wrong! i'm not a lesbian!]i mean friendship. oh yes. It's the feeling of complete and absolute betrayal from the heart. The one that you're never sure you can recover fully from because your standards of trust have been drastically altered and the sight of the only form of love you thought was eternal suddenly fading away is something you're rather burn yourself a thousand times with acid that be put to watch all over again. I stuck through this fiasco the whole way through the only way I knew how. By being myself. By believing in everything I had believed in the day before this all ever happened.she showed me a different form of friendship that I had not known [even though it was done in a rather superficial way] where you feel as though this friend has some aura that resonates along with yours.I'm not trying to make this sound like a soul mate, or some divine lover [because THAT is DEFINITELY NOT it. besides, that's on a much higher level of love and emotion anyway] but it's like...a step down. It's like a best friend to a slightly abstract degree.And that's what I had considered her to be. So even though she hurt me much more than a lot of things, I'd still would have died for her if she needed it because of this. Hell, maybe I show too much compassion for others. I'd die for anyone who needed me to, really....and that's because I believe in that light that's deep within everyone that has us believing in a life or a future that could be prosperous and filled with absolute joy. And should anyone's be threatened with the possibility of being extinguished, I'd gladly give mine up for that person. I think that's why I'm here. Yeah. Maybe I'm that person who helps people find their never ending drive for life [or at least tries to], even though I have trouble finding my own. Can't be perfect, you know. But then again, we have all we create in our lives, and whether I choose to fully burn this bridge, I'll only be without another thing in life. Anyway, people. The love you have in this world is the love you create, and whether or not you have it, it's a choice that's yours...even though you'll still have to watch out for those thorns here and there. So I dont know what I'll tell her tomorrow, but I hope it goes okay. I'm tired of hurting myself over this.So, I spent all of today reading and trying to start a project that was due a week ago; trying to rebuild something that I once knew as routine, only to find...that I'm alone. Completely and breathlessly alone. Left to only wonder just how I got here. Did I do it? Maybe. Maybe I've just gotten so used to myself being SOMEHOW isolated by someone else's actions, that I do it to myself as well. I feel so....silenced. Too willing to let others run around and ignore how rude and cruel they are just to let them be happy and too kind to let them know how much it hurts. Damn, I really hate these stay-home days since all they do is make you see the shit in life you're missing out on. oh well until next week!

2006-08-05T00:11:00.000-07:00

hey~! hehe. an update! yay! uhmm, this will be a very dramatic or lets just say, hopeless entry.
hayy.. what can you say when you heard the word "past"? yeah, in connection of love. prang lhat mskit dba? prang the word, past, signifies negative, hurt or isolation. hehe. u`re w0ndrin' bkt prang nauso yata sken ngayon ang past. Prang nagflashback skin kninang chemistry ung first love ko. yeah. HIS days.and i figured out that, soobrang swerte ko nung mga time na yun. i mean, imagine that pretty girl, he waited her for all of his life. then, poof! sakto, transferee ako nun!somebody told me that if our relationship succeed, then, i will be he's partner until now.but those days, are soo weird. i mean, i don't even know how to fall in love completely.the word, LOVE is nothing to me. i don't even feel it in my core. until one day, na fall ako sa knya. but, it`s too late. his feelings for me faded away. and i can`t take it back anymore.that was exactly august 1, 2004. i don`t know if he still loves me that period. but to tell you honestly, in one week and 2 days, there are moments that should be treasured:
-ung inayos nia ung ribbon ko, mababaw pero sweet. place: gym. science time doing laboratory experiment.-xa ung nagsulat ng landline number ko sa autograph na cnasgutan ko. time: morning. unknown day.- nagrequest ng hug. place: saint joan. time: uwian.- first ever gift na natanggap ko sa knya! linagay pa nia sa locker ko un. 1 big card and a "you`re special" bottle from Blue Magic.- 2nd gift was, 3 lavender bracelets. ung isa, naputol! ='c. pero ung isang piece, nasa akin prin.- the song, FALLING by KEAHIWAI. naalala ko, nung nasa library ako, tas hinala nia ako pataas pralang iparinig ung kanta na un sa radyo.- pag gawa nmin nang banner ng saint joan for nutrition month. tinuruan nia ako pano magtanggal ngscotch tape sa naka roll na cartolina.- ung drawing nia na rose na may tag na, " i love you, darlene". una niang pinaalam na may gusto xa skin. time: parating c sir roland! mag MMAPEH.- ang pag explain nia sken na kung bkit nia ako mahal. place: canteen.- ung, pagkuha nia ng sapatos ko sa girls cr. naiwan ko kxe sa school. xa ung una kong tinakbuhan.nasira cellphone nia, dhil nabasa sa ulan.-yung pag congratulate nia sken. dhil na elect ako as first year level representative ng dance club.-isang napaka solemn na rainy day, sa phone, cnabi nia sken ung family secrets nila. until now,wala pang nakakaalam.-ung dinifend nia ako kay krizza. kxe inaaway ako ni krizza! tas pinagtanggol nia ako.
marami pa.. nakkpanghinayang no. ang dming ngang nssngayan. too bad, wrong timing xa.ang immature ko pa nung time na un. ndi ko pa naiintindihan lhat. meron xang cnbi skinnung nagbreak kmi, " sana ndi nlang ako ung nagturo sayo kung pano magmahal."hay.. " past is past" sbi nila. ndi na mbblik pa. we have our own lives. and we`re still living it. hehe.

icons for the day:

an update!

2006-07-11T03:52:00.000-07:00

an update! baking day! see. nakedstreets. havent update for such a long time! puro sa nakedstreets kxe ako! btw, shareness! may contacts na ako! oha! kxo ang hirap for the beginners like me! rawr. this story, came from peyups.. here it goes.

I closed my eyes as Mike penetrated me. I bit my lower lip as I felt the sudden flow of mixed sensations: pleasure, pain, arousal and guilt. I kept my eyes shut as he moved above me. Before long, the pain grew less and the pleasure became intense as I found myself arching to his every thrust. Still, I kept my eyes shut. I could not find the courage to look at his face. I remained in the darkness until the deed was done.
As our bodies separated, I opened my eyes and looked at him. His forehead was sweaty from our heat. He looked at me and flashed a smile. He closed the gap and gave me a quick smack on the lips. I smiled back. It was a fake smile. Everything was a lie.
"I love you," he whispered while holding my hand. He looked at me. I knew he was waiting for my reply.
I just smiled back. I could spend an intimate moment with him but I could not lie to him. I asked myself if I loved him, and again the answer remained the same: I did not. I never did.
He lay on the bed and closed his eyes while I sat beside him, holding the blanket that covered me. I was silent.
"You really love Jim, don't you?" he asked. It was a rhetorical question. I never promised him anything.
"Are you going to his stag party tonight?" I asked. "I should be there. He'll be expecting me," his voice fading with every word. I could sense a lump in his throat. "Of course. You're his best friend." there was a hint of sarcasm in my voice.
I lay beside Mike and placed my head on his chest. He slowly combed my hair with his fingers. Although I wanted to cry, the tears would not escape from my eyes. The man I loved most was getting married in a few days and there I was sleeping with his best friend.
It was all a part of my stupid plan.
I wanted to hurt Jim. I wanted make him feel what I felt when he decided to end our affair to be with his fianceé. He said he loved me dearly but he didn't have the balls to stand by my side and fight for me. He left me all alone.
In my pain I found my vengeance: a friendship tested and proven through time - a friendship I could destroy with a display of my feminine charms.
Tonight, my timing was perfect. I was pretty sure Jim was on his way over after my text message. After a few minutes, the door flew open. I did not move. I was expecting this. They were both caught in surprise. Jim stood there, jaw tightened as he saw his best friend, Mike and the woman he loved so dearly naked with each other.
I was the woman who showed Jim what love was all about, the same woman she left crying when he decided to follow his family and marry the girl they chose for him.
I saw pain and anger in his eyes. Jim closed his eyes as he turned his back on us, slamming the door so hard I thought it would break. The naked man beside me was stunned. I, in turn, was engrossed in my own thoughts.
My vengeance was complete. I ruined a very important part of his life. I should have been happy, but I only felt numb.

*speechless..*

"admit or not, we always seek for revenge when we get hurt especially by our loved ones. but the thing is, we won't be happy either when we see them get hurt too. things happen for a reason, and although it sounds cliche, I still believe the God has perfectly planned our lives and we just have to trust Him to where He would lead us. :) revenge will do you no good but pain and suffering. -silent_soul" [agree..}

picture!

2006-04-20T01:33:00.000-07:00

woohoo! roar.. ahahah.

tuk

2006-04-19T22:35:00.000-07:00

what i've learned...!
1. u're never fully dressed without a smile
2. the best things in life are hugs and kisses
3. always wear sunblock!!!!!!!
4. u're beautiful any weight u r.
5. wen the going gets tough, the tough go shopping.
6. boy bands aren't that bad - they can actually pretty cute.. [take click 5 as an example! ahaha!]7. der is always room for one more in a neoprint! [yikes!]
8. YOUR BIGGEST RESPONSIBILITY IS TO BE YOURSELF.
9. dare to be different
10. growing up is sweeter when shared with a friend.
11. u can never have too many friends
12. mom still knows the best.
13. music is food for the soul.14. laughter will always be the best medicine.
15. never let a guy come between you and your bud.
16. there is no such thing as a small idea.
17. dream big.
18. school is cool.. [yeah! always cool! ahehhhehheh.]
19. just say "NO!"
20. alwasy fasten your seat belt
21. dance like no one is watching

22. it's always darkest first before the sunrise.
haiy.. evrything that is written above is true! [ehh.. true? uhmm.. nahh...]hehhe! as you can see.. i've changed the layout! ahehe.. emily the strange..!
till here! tata!

hihi!

2006-04-02T03:07:00.000-07:00

elow! hapi mood? yeah.. yapi.. kmi na eh.. sna uber magtagal! sna xa na.. ndi nman nia ako ssktan dba? haiiyyy... favorite ko ung my forgotten song nia! hehe.. kinompose nia.. ang gnda.. with blending na nllman.. sobrang prang broken sonnet.. la lang!

happy!

2006-03-24T03:10:00.000-08:00

m0od: yapi!!!!!!

waaahh! ionno! i'm uber yapi with my lablyp! poi made it! he chAnged everything!
waahh.. got nothing to rant..! uber speechless..

fuck them!

2006-03-13T01:56:00.001-08:00

okay! angry mood ryt n0w! i just received news dat mai nkkakta daw na mai ksma ako na guy sa church! eh sooo wwwhhhaaattt????????!!!!!!!!! ~~fuck~~ them! ano nman kng mai ksma akong lalaki! there's no big deal about it! nothing okay!!!!!!!!?????? frend ko lng un! at c deki lng un! packers! npaka narrow ng isip nila!

finally..

2006-03-11T17:16:00.000-08:00

finally.. eeiii!!! haiiyy.. ndi ko po tlga fnoforesee lhta-lhat! well.. unti-unti nang ngkkr0on ng kulay ang lablyp ko! waaahhh! hhee.. sna 22o na to...

blah!

2006-03-04T18:40:00.000-08:00

word for the day: unfair
- Marked by injustice,deception, or bias; not fair.

_that word killing me.. haiiyy.. cguro gnun lang tlga ung tao.. nakks! bgong pananaw nnMan!
okay.. her nickname is blue magic! eehhh! bsta blue magic! un.. nkkafeel nnmAn ako ng emptiness sa knya.. and coldness.. i don't know... bgla nlang xang lumamig ulit! no.. no.. this one is different unlike nung dati nming tampuhan.. yeah.. greetings.. happy na ako nung ginigreet nia akong `hi dardz...' pero dba.. ibang-iba ung greet dati! as in `dardz!!!!' taz pagtingin ko sa knya nakasmile na mlayo pa! eh ngaun? `hi dardz......' konti lng ung smile.. haiiyy.. ndi ko alm! cguro may bgo nnman xang frend aaaanndd! pinagsawaan na nia ako... cguro gnun.. heeii.. i'm still waiting na kausapin nia tlga ako.. kng mai problema ba xa saakin or what! kng mai ngwa b akong mali sa knya.. ang layo nia ksi eh.. kya gnun.. mlayo na nga.. ndi pa nguusap..

_ kya if ever na binabsa mo to.. nalulungkot ako kng bkit gnun nlng.. ndi mo man lang ako mkuhang kausapin... bigla ka nlng lumamig saakin.. ggraduate na nga lng kau eh.. eh.. ayan na iiyak na ako.. haiiyy...

word factory!

2006-03-03T21:58:00.000-08:00

okay! let's start! you have 3 minutes okay?

I A E W R

L O A R I

C A H N O

O F E E S

E R S X S

hehe! game!

crying again!

2006-03-03T02:01:00.000-08:00

I’m screaming at the top of my lungs right now! So read it and envisage that I’m totally screaming and shouting and yelling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay?

I’m very sick of what He always did to me!!!!!!!!! I’m sick and tired of all the stupid words!!! Of all the nonsense over-emotions that he always crammed up whenever I talk to him! I just want to scream at him sooooooooooooooooooo shrill!!!!!!! I hate this life! i want to end it so fast! I want to have a super vast slot at my arm! He never cares! He never listens! He never understands! But why on earth that I don’t have any strength to shout this to him! Whyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I gashed my arms again! Did he ever know that the all root why I am slitting my arms? It is because of him!!!!!!!!!! Because of the emptiness and numbness! He always errs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! nakakainis! Wla na akong msbihan! Amallie is not around because she is doubtless talking to him! Tedibear is not present at this moment because I know that many things nuisance her mind! So? Wla na! alangan nman c hipon! Ndi pwede! Ndi pa kmi close mxado! >.< waaaahh!!! Kwawa nman ako! L0ner tlga! Npaka recluse!

Mood: crying

roar..

2006-02-25T19:22:00.000-08:00

i was trying to cease reading cradle and all before the farewell! pero ang labo ata! err! andaming ggwin eh! haiiyy.. here's the lyricsof my favorite song.. unbelievable by craig david

"Always said I would know where to find love, Always thought I'd be ready and strong enough, But some times I just felt I could give up. But you came and changed my whole world now, I'm somewhere I've never been before. Now I see, what love means. [Chorus] It's so unbelievable, And I don't want to let it go, Something so beautiful, Flowing down like a waterfall. I feel like you've always been, Forever a part of me. And it's so unbelievable to finally be in love, Somewhere I'd never thought I'd be. In my heart, in my head, it's so clear now, Hold my hand you've got nothing to fear now, I was lost and you've rescued me some how-. I'm alive, I'm in love you complete me, And I've never been here before. Now I see, what love means. ([Chorus]) When I think of what I have, and this chance I nearly lost, I cant help but break down, and cry. Ohh yeah, break down and cry. ([Chorus]) Now I see, what love means"

2006-02-25T07:03:00.000-08:00

Aarrgghh!!! Alm nio b! gs2 kong itanong sa sarili ko na, â€œano na kya nangyari sa knya ngaun? No updates, no news from her..â€ vinict ko ung blog nia sa blogspot! And her last update is May 22 2005! Ano na kya? Prang nung first year plang kmi, todo update xa dun sa freewebs.. taz prang nagli-low na xa sa internet! I miss her! I miss her waywardness! I miss all of her articles and some writings about her life! bigla ko lang xa naalala nung napanuod ko ung ginwa nia sa movie maker na cnave sa cd! Ang gnda! Taz ung sound nia, ung can you help me by usher! Bsta nkakamis xa!

may bgo nnmAng blog!